Letters to Myself: Entry Fifty-Eight
Prompt: How do you reach when things don’t go as planned?
A reflection based on the idea of plans; how inevitably we should not rely on the full expectations of plans, but simply, the little wins that come with the plans we have each day.
One of the things that I have learned over the course of my life, but more specifically, in the last couple of years, I have been able to cultivate a true sense of resilience and trying to apply that into my daily work and habits of life. When one believes that having success in any and all plans is thinking incredibly naive. It has brought forth a sense of learning from peoples examples and show that even if that example applies to your life, then you know what to do and how to move forward. Some people, at least based on observations in my life, I have seen much despair; much sorrow; much sadness; all of which has taught me that there are many individuals who have not found that resilience yet. And I say yet because it needs to come through, we all can break through the emotional feelings we have to be better for our conscience and the divine that exists all around us; the contributing feeling to the overall whole of the universe.
Contributing this way makes you recenter certain feelings; feelings that will tear you down if you are not in control of them. So when something does inevitably go wrong, you can have the capacity to find out what emotions you are feeling; to be aware enough to see the situation, the anger or sadness you might feel, potentially another feeling. This should guide one on how to handle a situation. When one is aware of these and can handle their emotions and hold steady in that line of fire, you can find the solace and peace on the other side. That there is another side to the suffering or when a plan does not go according to plan.
I would even say that suffering is when the plans don’t go accordingly. It has to be seen this way because it forces one to reflect inward and see the situation at hand, apply your past experiences, handle your emotions so it does not rule your decision-making; one has to see this, it gives them truth to figure out how to maneuver the situation at hand. That while yes, even in my time of growth, I have been able to show some confidence in situations or plans that didn’t go accordingly. Essentially that is all of our lives every single day; we all, for the most part, have plans each day when we wake up. This alone should provide you a stepping stone that you have a whole days worth of time for this plan to go haywire.
If you allow plans to go haywire, it can lead to worse outcomes; however, I do push back on complete control of a situation or plan. If one does not leave room for exploration, then the fate of the demise of the controlled plan will go to waste. The thing with always relying on the plans to go according to each beat, is just simply not the best approach to the plans we have. And when that does happen, we have to be able to have the reaction to stop and ask: what is the next move? Asking yourself what is the next move, or a question I heard recently based on this idea is ‘what’s possible now?’ I think that is a great question to ask in any situation, but especially surrounding the idea of a plan not going accordingly.
As I learned about this specific question, the ‘what’s possible now?’ sentiment, I found this question stemming from a story of a brilliant individual showing the power of resilience in the moments of despair in her plans of life. I think what was powerful about her example was just how this person was able to go in and out of plans over the course of her life; how she changed courses multiple times and that is perfectly fine to do that as a human being. Because when her moments did come, it was big ones. Whether it was a death, a divorce, a firing; anything that might throw a wrench into your plans is worth exploring. I find this to be a good practice as it will show you, potentially, the worse possible scenario that you are thinking about in your head; versus what is actually going to happen.
When one is able to find that peace and see the future as something that is totally unpredictable, then you live more presently; seeing the beauty around you and the beauty in your flawed plan! That is what makes this prompt so well is that it gives you a chance to see the future in multiple ways, preparing you for what ‘could’ be, but instead, planning or even just envisioning these outcomes through meditation, or however form one visualizes it, you can have a grasp on what could. That those successes are the wins to your overall plan, but I do caution, that these are merely seen as the little wins you have to keep track of. Don’t get overly excited on the small wins; do appreciate them, but don’t get caught up in that, especially if your plan does come to fruition. Little wins are great, and if the plan does go accordingly, don’t get caught up in that and allow your ego to take over.
After all, that is the demise to our fortune if I am being completely honest here. We get so caught up on the big wins that we don’t allow ourselves to see the little wins. The progress that is the golden days we are currently in right now. Living each day with a flawed plan, allowing ourselves to explore, but also giving us purpose to keep going, to see things out that we didn’t want to see before. I think it is important to have this idea; it is important because one should be wanting to see those little wins. I know talking based on my personal life here, it is amazing some of the increments I made to my overall plan of life, and how those little tracks of progress have shown me the progress I never thought was possible; we are human and making progress everyday, just trying to show more light to the world when the darkness seems to be creeping in all over.
And that is the beauty of this question as well; it is all based on the idea of failed expectations. We shouldn't hold our expectations so tightly, because doing so is itself a form of judgment. We are not judged based on the people around us, we are merely judged by the divine that exists all around us; the whole that is this life, and how our plans do contribute to the overall whole of this life. Sympatheia; plans should merely be a thing you look at to understand your compass. Your compass is inside of you and you have the capabilities to see it as well; reading it to make you go in the direction you wanted to go subconsciously. And that is the beauty of plans, we are always so anxious about them that we allow the plans to take hold of our own mindsets. Don’t do this; find it in you to see the beauty in the small wins progressing towards a destination you have not seen yet because it is all pragmatic. These are ideas you are placing in the universe to guide you to that point, and if you don’t find that point, don’t get discouraged, because all of the steps you took to get there were part of the small wins of your plan. Don’t be bitter about the failed reality, simply, look at it as the opportunity you never saw before and how your human condition is always adding more wins each day.
That is your compass; your plan is always changing, realize this and find the peace you have been looking for.
This post is part of my "Letters to Myself" series — a weekly free-write blog where I explore personal growth, curiosity, and healing through simple prompts. Sometimes reflective, sometimes fun, but always real. Thank you for being here.
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Photo by Kyle Gare
