Letters to Myself: Entry Four
Prompt: What’s something I’ve outgrown, and what did it teach me while it lasted?
It is good to reflect on the things you have outgrown. And sometimes things come and go where you have outgrown something. But one thing is forsure, showing up everyday for yourself is going to be the thing that matters the most always.
Answer to the prompt:
Wow, another great and slightly perplexing question. I feel like there could be multiple answers to this, but one in particular stands out right now.
Lately, I think I’ve outgrown my eagerness to be in a romantic relationship. And while I say this just a few months after going through heartbreak, I mean it. I’m not saying I’ve shut myself off to love forever, but I’ve realized that the old version of me was chasing something I thought I needed in order to feel whole. I was constantly holding onto the idea that “the one” was out there, that I’d find someone to be with for the rest of my life.
I dreamed heavily on that idea. I shaped a lot of my identity around it. But somewhere along the way, probably in the pain and honesty of my last breakup, I realized that maybe what I needed more than a partner was freedom.
I used to think being alone meant being incomplete. Now, I realize that being alone means having autonomy. Having the space to rebuild. To listen to myself. And sure, heartbreak still hurts. Even casual relationships can leave a scar. But nothing compares to the deep ache of believing you’d found forever, only to discover it wasn’t meant to be. That kind of hurt wakes you up. It teaches you to love more mindfully next time, if there is a next time.
Beyond that, I think I’ve outgrown something else too: the idea that I’m still “just a kid” trying to figure things out. That version of me is still there in pieces, but I’ve matured in ways I can feel. I’ve embraced new habits, built healthier routines, and developed a forward-thinking mindset. I’ve started choosing what’s good for me, from what I eat to how I spend my time. I no longer feel stuck in a cycle of uncertainty. I’m learning to move with intention.
And maybe most importantly: I’ve outgrown fear. That scared young adult who was once trying to prove his worth? He’s still part of me, but he’s no longer steering the ship. These days, I lead with confidence. I pay my bills. I show up. I help others. I do what I can with the energy I’ve got and I sleep well knowing that I gave the day my all.
But here’s the thing: even though I’ve outgrown parts of myself, I still let the kid inside me come out. I still let him play. Because it’s not just about growing up, it’s about growing through. All the seasons, all the versions of me, brought me here. And I carry them with me still.
This post is part of my "Letters to Myself" series — a weekly free-write blog where I explore personal growth, curiosity, and healing through simple prompts. Sometimes reflective, sometimes fun, but always real. Thank you for being here.
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Photo by Kyle Gare
