Letters to Myself: Entry Seventy-Five
Prompt: What am I dreading right now that hasn’t actually happened yet?
“We suffer more often in imagination than in reality.”
A reflection discussing the ideas of anxiety in our lives. How one can take a situation that is making them anxious and find positive ways to respond. To make the situation or encounter better if they are not responding with the negative traits in our character - anger.
The thought of anxiety being in our lives is one of the more prevalent things that is going on in the current climate. As I write this out, I find myself asking the question of anxiety in my life because of what we see in the news, what we see in the world, and what we are seeing all around us. I don't think it is out of the question to believe that most of us have anxious tendencies, considering how things are going in the current climate of the world. However, it is good to read this Seneca quote as a way of dealing with your anxiety; we often torture ourselves of scenarios that have not even happened yet; and or ever will. The beauty and anxious part about life is that we have no control over the events that follow in the time that proceeds. We only can respond to those events in the best ways possible.
One of the things that the stoic philosophy talks about is making sure that we don’t allow ourselves to suffer too much in our minds and soul. After all, we should be examining that part of ourselves and seeing how we can make it better. I know for myself I have to do that on a daily basis. I am always retreating back into the soul and mind to make sure i am not giving up on the life I am living; I am retreating to find the wisdom to carry out the stressful situation. That is why we create and morph our brains to be better than where we were during that stressful period. That is perseverance and redemption all at the same time. And what a better way to find that motivation through those motives; to see the life that you are living is going to have hard times and hard situations, but we have the chance to respond with the care and grace that only one can teach themselves as they age in time.
We also know all too well that we succumb to the wiles of anger when we are anxious. Some of us become scared and unsure what to do. In fact, that is where most of the time I fall, but I will get frustrated by a situation; frustrated by a certain remark that comes my way that throws off my mental fortitude. I think it is easy for someone to be reactive when it comes to our anxiety, however, we have a chance to channel that type of energy into something positive, and the stoics talked about this as well. Seneca in letter 18 talks about anger and how, in his words: “the outcome of violent anger is a mental raving, and therefore anger is to be avoided not for the sake of moderation but for the sake of sanity.” Along with other emotions that come with being anxious, we have a chance to mitigate that feeling; much like the opposite side of feeling scared. Don’t become angry in these moments, as finding more peace and challenging yourself to go beyond the anger and see the kindness one could offer in a tense situation. That measures the true character in that moment of mental crisis.
The flip side of that coin is responding with grace instead of anger. I find myself trying to make sure we are doing this virtue in any and all situations with people we encounter or potentially a situation we are facing head-on. I always remain headstrong on this idea because when I have responded with grace and compassion, kindness and virtue, I find myself more equipped with coming out of that situation better and not nearly as anxious as I was moments before. Responding with this level of awareness will give you insane benefits that help you view life in a completely different sense. I know for myself when i have to encounter people who are difficult to interact with, responding with this level of kindness trumps everything that will come your way from them. The notion, “kill them with kindness,” while yes can be difficult to achieve, when you are able to achieve that level of awareness, you can come out of any situation better and more ready for then next one.
There are many things I am dreading in the time that is coming ahead. When I think of these things, I know they are future events and we tend to play the scenario out so intensely that we believe that is how it is going to go. That we believe that is the one and final way the scenario has to go, and then when we eventually get to that time of the event, or whatever encounter you are partaking in, it does not go the way we planned at all. To the point where we become anxious in that moment because it is not going the way we had planned. This is one of the main critical moments that people land in; make sure to not always believe this planned scenario. I have to remind my brain multiple times that we might have a basic plan for this situation, but always allow for the ‘spur-of-the-moment’ outcomes be open. We have to channel the idea of uncertainty to our advantage and that is why responding with virtue allows one to see through the anxious moment; to see how the moment could be better and even life-changing if one allows for it.
Life has been something else in the last year, and I would even say that it is very anxiety driven; however, I know there are better days ahead as we only know good from evil, and that alone allows us to view our anxiety in a way to take it as a superpower and respond to the life event that is coming our way with the most positive mindset. That no matter what comes our way, we can always respond with this level of stillness of the mind that we can take this encounter and make it our own. I know in the coming years, it will show its level of anxiety, its level of hardship, and its level of soul-sucking nature; but to the flip that coin, it will also show the best memories that have not been made yet, it will create opportunities for us to be better than where we were before that moment, and it will grant us new connections with people who help ease our anxious thoughts. With the power of anxious moments comes the double benefit of what that outcome might be; and when we harness the power of controlling that anxiety, we benefit not just ourselves in that moment, but also the people the moment ties in as well. Be the light for someone on a day they might be anxious too; bridge the gap before it is too late.
Main Thought: Being anxious is normal; but how we respond is the main objective. And if we respond with grace and compassion, kindness and authenticity, we give the benefit of the situation to the point where the best case scenario could appear. Benefit the situation and not let the anxious thoughts in our minds take over.
This post is part of my "Letters to Myself" series — a weekly free-write blog where I explore personal growth, curiosity, and healing through simple prompts. Sometimes reflective, sometimes fun, but always real. Thank you for being here.
References:
Photo by Kyle Gare
Seneca. Letters to Lucilius, Letter 13 — “On Groundless Fears.” (c. 65 AD)
Seneca. Letters to Lucilius, Letter 18 — “On Anger.” (c. 65 AD)
