Letters to Myself: Entry Thirty-Two
Prompt: What emotion do I most associate with the Winter Holidays - and Why?
This reflection dives into the reasons beyond my feelings for the holiday season. At least right now in 2025, I am experiencing many emotions but there is one that overtakes the rest. But this time of the year is met with quite a bit and its good to remember the good you have around you and to truly appreciate the moment with loved ones before the new year sets in.
This question immediately struck me because it asks for honesty, not nostalgia. When I think about the holidays, I feel many emotions at once - peace, joy, gratitude, excitement, love. Those feelings still exist for me, and I genuinely cherish the lights, the cold air, the decorations, the quiet beauty of winter.
But the emotion that resonates most strongly for me during the holidays is sadness.
Part of that sadness comes from the world we’re living in right now. Over the past year especially, I’ve noticed a shift in people. And that could be a heaviness, a fatigue, a loss of momentum. Many are simply trying to survive. Life has become expensive in ways that feel unsustainable, and money has turned into a necessity that dictates far too much of our emotional well-being. That reality alone weighs heavily during a season that’s supposed to feel abundant.
Another reason I associate the holidays with sadness is more personal. Since college, this time of year has made me acutely aware of loneliness, both my own and others’. I think about people who don’t feel loved, or don’t believe they are. People without close family, without partners, without traditions to anchor them. Relationships during the holidays feel amplified: friendships, family ties, romantic connections or the absence of them.
The holidays are often portrayed through a very specific lens: perfect families, full tables, wrapped gifts, shared laughter. And while I do love the holidays, I also recognize how complicated that image can be. Not everyone can afford gifts. Not everyone has the emotional energy to participate. Not everyone has people to exchange anything with at all.
As we get older, our worlds naturally shift. Families grow, schedules tighten, priorities change. Time becomes fragmented. People spend more holidays at home, with smaller circles, or alone. Add winter into the mix with long nights, cold days, isolation, and it becomes even harder. Especially in northern states, where the season itself can feel unrelenting.
I’ve seen this sadness firsthand. Go to a restaurant or bar on Christmas Day and notice how many people are there simply because they didn’t want to be alone. Visit a veterans’ organization. Look at the rise in homelessness. These realities don’t disappear just because it’s the holidays, they become more visible.
And yet, there is something else present alongside the sadness: gratitude.
Even in its complexity, this season still offers moments worth holding onto. The chance to see family you only see once a year. The opportunity to slow down. The reminder that connection, however imperfect, is still possible. Sadness and joy coexist here, often in confusing but meaningful ways.
This time of year reminds me that showing up matters. Not just for family, but for anyone who feels unseen. A small act of kindness, a moment of genuine attention, a reminder that someone matters, it can change more than we realize.
Sadness may be the emotion I associate most with the holidays, but it also sharpens my awareness of hope. It pushes me to be more present, more compassionate, more intentional. And if nothing else, it reminds me of this: be someone’s miracle when you can. Kindness travels further than we think, and sometimes, it saves lives.
Happy Holidays.
This post is part of my "Letters to Myself" series — a weekly free-write blog where I explore personal growth, curiosity, and healing through simple prompts. Sometimes reflective, sometimes fun, but always real. Thank you for being here.
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Photo by Kyle Gare
