Letters to Myself: Entry Fifty-Five
Prompt: How easy is it for you to let things unfold naturally?
A reflection on how to accept things as they are; that we have no control over the events that come our way. However, we have a chance to look at the thing in front of us that is presenting a challenge and see it as an opportunity to grow and morph our human skills to be seeking more answers rather than letting our anxieties take over.
This is a great, reflective question that I think everyone should be asking themselves. More importantly, to understand that this question gives one a chance to reflect inward about the controlling nature we all have within us; as if, when you see this question you might get defensive about it. Don’t get defensive, think about the idea of control; why is it that we tend to want things to happen a certain way? That we are wanting it to happen in a way that only benefits ourselves and not the people around you. This is a dangerous mindset and one cannot let it get the best of them.
I will say, my journey to understanding this idea and letting things go took some time and experiences to get there; as now I am in a place where I am more in acceptance. Ryan Holiday has a great book on this idea too called The Obstacle is the Way. The book dives into great examples about how to deal with difficult situations and to turn them into positives. Moreover, one can find the benefit in this idea applying to the ‘let things unfold naturally’ as this prompt presents itself. It is not how we can move the obstacle per se, but more what is the strategy to go around it and keep moving forward.
Life is always going to have events that just happen and simply put, they will happen naturally whether we like it or not. We have no idea what those events are; we have no control over them so what would be the point in stressing? Being so anxious that it crumbles our intelligence to face the challenge and not allow us to grow. I used to look at situations like this; I would crumble when the difficult times came, as I had no way of figuring out what to do.
As a culture and through intense observation, I do find myself concerned for others though; but this alone is coming right back to the question for this reflection. I have witnessed people struggle to figure out how to deal with difficult situations; I have seen people show more anger than grace and respectfulness; I have seen more people distracted by screens, to the point where I have no idea if there will be a car crash in front of me or in five more minutes down the road since the phone never seems to be out-of-sight. We see things in the news that things are going sideways more often than not, but right back to the question though, these are the events that are happening naturally before us; as we have no control over it other than how we respond.
Responding to events as they unfold is the challenge here. No one should be responding with anger, or at least try not to; I understand how difficult that is. However, if one does master the inner-self, shifting their perspective for virtue; reframing the difficult situation can lead to drastic ways of living and your overall happiness. As I am continuing to figure things out, which is quite a bit still, I am being observant of the people around me; I am making sure to stay alert and see these things and situations; and to make sure I don’t respond with malice or anger, no. Think about these situations that people are placing themselves in and think, “I could be doing that too right now, but I am going to fight off the resistance and keep trying. Because this is a challenge to accept the process of growth. And I am not going to destroy my curiosity because a machine tells me the answer to all of my problems.”
Acceptance is the big thing here. The stoics had a term which meant ‘assent’ but was actually called ‘synkatathesis’, meaning the mental agreement (acceptance) or approval you give to an external event that happens in front of you. This was, and still is, seen as a way to find true freedom from the depths of your mental suffering. That you take things as they are and figure out how to approach them with grace and problem-solving answers. When one accepts the fate around them, you start to find the peace of mind you needed in this world. We cannot individually make drastic changes to the world; we have no control over the billions of people that exist on this planet. It would be overwhelming and unnatural for any one person to hold that kind of power, but that power belongs to someone or the divine spirits that are out there, where we can’t see them.
Amor Fati, also means acceptance of the fate given to you. It is good to remind oneself that we don’t control events that come about, but remember we can have the control over how we respond and how we can learn from the situation; how we can have a chance to figure out something that we never thought was possible in a moment of despair. Life is difficult, challenging, sorrowful, depressing; but it is also beautiful and lovely too. Acceptance to the events that happens gives one a chance to find happiness in areas one never thought was possible. Explore these challenges and see what it is; figure out what your answer is and then approach it with care, respect and curiosity to make sure one allows their brain to use the muscles it has to make it through those events. Strength comes from despair; continue to figure out the answers because effort is more admirable and respectable than not doing anything at all; and stop responding to the world events with anger, selfishness, temptation, seduction; the things that drive all of us insane and make it hard to respond to these events.
Accept, move forward, don’t let the emotions inside get the best of oneself.
This post is part of my "Letters to Myself" series — a weekly free-write blog where I explore personal growth, curiosity, and healing through simple prompts. Sometimes reflective, sometimes fun, but always real. Thank you for being here.
References:
Photo by Kyle Gare
Holiday, Ryan. 2014. The Obstacle Is the Way: The Timeless Art of Turning Trials into Triumph. New York: Portfolio/Penguin.
