Brick by Brick: A Real Guide to Healing, Burnout, and Self-Compassion
“Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out.”
— Robert Collier
Opening: The Myth of the Overnight Fix
You know when you’re drowning in work? Laundry piling up, dishes stacked high, your inbox exploding, and somewhere in between you’re trying to keep your social life intact? Maybe even squeeze in a video game? Or you end up zoning out with a six-pack and a pound from Taco John’s because, well, “it was just one of those days.”
Yeah, I know that boat. I’ve been in it more than I care to admit.
Even now, as I’m writing blog entries with purpose, intention, and heart, I still get hit with burnout. That sense of stagnancy. Like life is just rinse and repeat. That endless cycle of doing the same thing over and over again simply to stay afloat. And yes, consistency is good, admirable even. But what if, just what if, you could gently break that loop with intention?
Because you can. I promise, you can.
The Collapse: Numbness, Burnout, and the Crash
There came a point in my life where everything crashed. I lost someone I loved. I was numb. I was angry. I turned to alcohol and unhealthy habits to numb that emptiness. I was in a cycle of self-sabotage.
But there’s a funny thing about rock bottom—it makes you face yourself. And that’s when real growth can begin.
For me, it started physically. I was overweight, out of shape, and honestly, ashamed of my reflection. I got mad. I got so mad that I used that emotion to fuel my motivation. I began working out, monitoring my sleep, counting calories, giving up alcohol and junk food. I became obsessed, but in the healthiest way I’ve ever known.
Each step I took was painful, but each was also proof that I could rebuild. That I could choose to show up for myself, even when it hurt.
The Brick-by-Brick Philosophy
One thing I’ve learned in therapy (shoutout to my amazing therapist) is that you don’t just leap to the end of your healing. You have to walk every step across that bridge.
And honestly, it’s the same in the gym. You don’t just wake up and deadlift 300 pounds. You build up to it. One rep, one breath, one drop of sweat at a time. That’s the metaphor of brick-by-brick.
Your bricks might look different. Maybe it’s texting an old friend, washing the dishes, journaling even when it feels pointless, or finally checking your mailbox. It all counts. A win is a win.
And every brick you lay brings you closer to the life you’re trying to build.
Practicing Compassion
This part is hard. Because when you’re trying to rebuild, the world doesn’t always go easy on you. Things break. People leave. Unexpected tragedies happen.
I recently had a moment I wasn’t proud of. An ex-partner sent me a TikTok—a poem called Hurt People Hurt People. It wrecked me. It reminded me of the pain we both carried. She was hurting, and in her own way, was lashing out. I wasn’t suicidal, but I felt overwhelmed and alone. I called the suicide hotline, just to talk.
And the person on the other end said something I’ll never forget:
“Show compassion for yourself like you would for others. Because you are a good person. I can hear it in your voice.”
I broke down. But in that moment, I also began to heal. Because I realized I don’t have to carry everyone else’s pain. I just need to carry my own with grace.
“Rather than wandering around in problem-solving mode all day, thinking mainly of what you want to fix about yourself or your life, you can pause for a few moments throughout the day to marvel at what’s not broken.”
Image of Dr. Kristen Neff
Dr. Kristin Neff talks about this in her work on self-compassion. She says it’s about treating yourself like you would a friend in pain. Being kind to yourself, recognizing your struggles as part of being human, and practicing mindful awareness of your suffering. Research shows that self-compassion leads to better mental health, resilience, and emotional strength.
Sometimes compassion is soft and nurturing. Other times it’s fierce. It says, “No more.” It draws boundaries. It chooses healing.
Closing: The House You’re Building
You’re not building a mansion overnight. You’re laying bricks, sometimes with shaky hands, sometimes through tears, but you’re doing it.
So if today’s brick is just getting out of bed, let that be enough. If tomorrow’s brick is going to the gym or drinking water or calling your mom, celebrate it.
You’re rebuilding. You’re trying. And you’re doing it brick by brick.
Eventually, the house you’re building will start to shine. It won’t be perfect, but it’ll be yours. With walls held together by resilience, humor, vulnerability, and compassion.
And when someone asks how you got through it, you’ll smile and say, “I did it brick by brick.”
I know I do.
—Kyle
Sources and References
Dr. Kristin Neff
Research on self-compassion and emotional resilience.
Image of Dr. Kristen Neff
Quote referenced:
Website: www.self-compassion.org
Robert Collier
Author on self-help
Quote referenced:
Header Image by Lluvia Morales via Unsplash
